I wrote you a post. Last week. Way last week. But in the crazy middle of all that’s been happening I forgot to share it. So, today I reread it, and was getting ready to hit send, when it occurred to me to–instead–be honest.
Some days, that is the last place I want to be; ownership. Transparency. REAL.
I run. When it’s hard, I hide. Escape is my default mode and, until people get to really know me, they are often perplexed as to my strange behavior. One day I’m all in-your-face friendly and talkative. Then, with-in a weeks time, I disappear.
When I first met my friend Shannon, I was elated. She was like a breath of fresh air in my stale little-town world. She was cool, and funny, and she was from Colorado (my happy place) so how could I not love her? We talked for hours and I have the phone bills to prove it. Our kids loved each other, we drank coffee like hyper-addicted caffeinated fools. We bared our hearts and shared our dreams. It was divine.
But then…I fell into a funk. It’s called fear. Or depression. Or, writers block. Or, personality block… It hits me every once in awhile. Or, you know, every other day…but I hadn’t ever broached it with her. So, instead of whining and risking the potential of ruining a perfectly wonderful new relationship, I ran.
I know she wondered. Because she told me. When I finally got over myself and gave her a call. She was understanding. But more over, she was supportive. And she has since become a rock to me. She is someone who speaks blessing over my life when all I see is failure and death. And, when I need it, she’s not afraid to call me on all my B.S.
I really need that.
Everyone needs someone who can build you up–and tear you down–without destroying or degrading you. You need truth. You need REAL. You won’t grow or bloom without it.
So, this week has been hard. Oh, and last week too. Not to be pessimistic, but I’m thinking it may be that way for awhile. I mean, really, when isn’t life hard? But, instead of hiding in my shell and rotting in here, I’m moving forward.
I’m going to stand here and face the words. Face the REAL. BE BRAVE.
How can I help you BE BRAVE as well?