Ever felt alone? As someone who spends her days mostly holed up in the house surrounded by acres and acres of wood and not another human insight for sometimes 8 (or more) hours, I know alone. I do solitude quite well. And, quite frankly, I like it that way most of the time.
But alone is different from lonely. And even though I enjoy my hermit bound writer/photographer/artist/Bon-Bon eating house-wife (yeah, you know that’s a joke) lifestyle, there are times when alone can be, well, lonely.
The truth is though, those times are fairly infrequent and mostly only happen when I stop looking at the blessings in my life and start to focus on what I think I should have instead. You know; a Starbucks with-in an hours drive…a new studio space…a book deal…
In reality, God provides for my needs abundantly and in the due time that I truly need them.
But there are still days that rock my boat and earlier this week I had to deal with some “stuff” in my extended family. I don’t really want to elaborate, but I’ll just say this stuff was sad, messy, exhausting, and left me feeling drained from the emotional stress I experienced. I didn’t even have to leave my house to deal with it, thanks to phones and emails and the wonder of Facebook messaging, I got to handle it all from the comforts of home.
Unfortunately though, the issues I was dealing with were rather private. And although I have a huge support system in person as well as online, I realized this issue was one for which I have no support. None.
It’s not because those who love me don’t want to help. I’m sure if I wanted to talk, they’d listen. They’d be supportive, caring, concerned. They’d lift me up in prayer, hug me, speak Gods words over my pain. Sometimes however, I think you need to talk to someone who’s been there. Done that. Especially, if it’s an issue where the been there, done that, wasn’t by choice.
So, for me, today, it was a great gift from God to find a new blog by a wonderful woman who is also, ironically(!) named Pamela as well. She’s an artist (like me) a photographer (the kind I dream to be) and a writer. She’s courageous and brave and speaks from the heart at a place called http://www.ipaintiwrite.com. The thing about Pamela is she’s a kindred, in many ways and though I haven’t even talked to her about much yet, just knowing she exists helped my loneliness in a specific area of my life.
Did it ever occur to you that your life, your very existence, might be all the comfort someone needs today?
Let that sink in a minute.
Who you are, the good, the bad, the messy stuff and stuff you’d wish away in a heartbeat, all THAT stuff, that might make you the exact person God uses to heal others. What are you walking away from? What are you hiding? Has it ever crossed your mind that possibly that very thing (yes- THAT!) that thing you hate, despise, or want to erase, that might be something God has allowed in your life so that you might be a comfort to others.
Pamela Hodges didn’t have to blog honestly, with transparency. But she did. She didn’t have to open up her life and let me see it, the good the bad, and the ugly. But she did. I didn’t have to read her blog and be blessed, but I did, and I was. And I’m grateful. I’m grateful for people like her who are brave, and honest, and write words even when it’s hard and they think no one is listening and it won’t ever matter. Because guess what, it does.
Go check her out if you have a moment, she’s real and I love that.